It's happened. I don't even know how I feel about it, but...I am addicted to something that my teenage self would shudder to even think about 20 years ago. Some might say I am a bit late on the band wagon, and others...many others...will just not understand. Some may gasp, some may wonder what in the hell I am thinking...others will welcome me to the dark side.
What is my new addiction, you ask?
I make my bed, EVERY MORNING.
I know, right?!?
And it's nearly a compulsion now. This morning, after I had gotten dressed and cleaned up for the day, I tried to let it go, and walk away. After all, everyone needs a day off from chores, right? So, I grabbed my phone off my night stand and started to walk away, into the kitchen where my coffee machine was waiting patiently for me. I got about 5 steps way from the bedroom door, and couldn't help but turn and look at the bed...cozy looking, yes, but...crumpled and askew. And before I knew it, I set down my phone and started making the bed.
For most of my adult life, unless it was "cleaning day, I never made my bed. Hardly ever, anyway. I made my bed much more often as a teenager, and even then I wasn't consisted about it. "What's the point?" I would say, "It's just going to get all messed up again when we go to bed tonight." Oh I tried creating the habit, like a good girl/housewife, but I just seemed pointless.
Until recently.
Something has clicked. I made my bed not long ago, and, after a particularly busy and exhausting day, I LOVED how it felt to crawl into a nicely made bed. There is something so comforting about that. Plus, it makes the entire master bedroom look neater, more inviting, more like actual grown ups sleep there. I love walking about the house and glancing into my room and knowing that if nothing else gets done, the bed is MADE and its something I can check off my to-do list.
Now, I know that many people have been making their bed for years. My father and step-mother made their bed every morning as I grew up. Without fail, no matter how early in the morning they had to leave the house, no matter if one of them was not feeling well (Of course, I really can't think of a single time either one of them took a sick day at work...hearty, salt of the earth types), no matter if they were getting ready to go to a funeral, that was one of several things that they did, every day. Without fail. My older brother often made his bed. My brother is several years older than me, and moved out of the house shortly after I moved in, but still...you could almost guarantee his bed was made every morning. Occasionally, during the short time we lived in the same house, he would be running late for work and maybe his bed didn't get made, but then on his lunch break, he came home and made it. My mother made her bed more often than not as well. I am telling you that I was shown example after example all while growing up that one should make their bed. Me...well I was a bit of a rebellious spirit, and I thought of it as just one more thing I HAD to do, and if I *HAD* to do it, I didn't want to do it, so I fought against it. "I do what I want!!" was my mindset. (Much more trouble for me than it was worth, but...rebellious and stubborn was I, and I am sure I gave my parents fits of frustration. I know this because I now have a 14 year old daughter whom I love dearly, but she is making my hair fall out because she is much like I was at her age.)
I tried getting into the habit over my adult years. But I could never stick with it because, as I became an adult, especially after I had married and started having children, my to-do list was chock full of more important things to do. "I don't have time to make my bed...I have to make a grocery list/get ready to go talk to a teacher/run by the bank/randomly scrub a room/write emails/check Facebook", etc. There was always something more important to do, and to be honest, I didn't care about making my bed.
Today, I do. I can't help it. Dear God, I have become one of "them".
Try it. Seriously. If you are not already a bed maker (and I know some of you are not), seriously try it. Make your bed every day for a week, no excuses. It is going to take less than 5 minutes, you will have something accomplished for your day, and you will start feeling the exhilaration that comes with having a neatly made bed waiting for you at night. It really does feel good.
Until next time,
XOXO
Sam
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
RIP Shame
Something has been on my mind lately...something that is so controversial that no one really wants to talk about it, and anyone who does has to be prepared to get an earful. It's hard to believe that this is even a topic of "debate", but people really do have strong feelings, one way or another, regarding what I am going to write about. Nonetheless, I think it's something that needs to be said. And it's something that needs to be said by me.
I'm fat.
And that's okay.
Let me head off the first droll remark I can see coming. "You are not fat, you have fat. Just like you have fingernails, but you are not fingernails." Whether I say "I am fat" or "I have fat", it really does mean the same thing, right? We all know the point I am getting to here. I hate semantics for this very reason, because someone wants to correct what I say instead of just letting me say it, and then dealing with what I am saying.
So, let's not lose the point of my train of thoughts here. I am fat. And THAT'S OKAY!
Body acceptance is a touchy subject for me. I, personally, have been taught since I could remember that there is only around 3 body sizes that are okay to have. "Small", which is preferable. "Medium" which is expected. "Large" is pushing the limits but is generally accepted to a certain degree. Other than that, if you don't fit into those three categories, you are a BAD PERSON, societally speaking, and obviously fair game and a fair target for ridicule, jokes and you MUST hate yourself. I have never actually been in the "small" category. Even at a "medium", I look rail thin. I have been blessed/cursed with big boobs, so even at my smallest size that I am comfortable at for me, my tops are a medium or large, depending on the cut.
Among your friends and loved ones, you are not allowed to say you are fat. "You are not fat!!" is something I have heard, time and again, from my kids, my husband, my friends, and anyone trying to be nice. In all fairness, "I'm fat" is said by me with a hint of self deprecation, and often in a mocking tone to suggest (read: confirm) that I was making fun of myself. But let's face it. I am fat. And, as of today, that is okay with me.
To ward off the second argument I can hear coming, I would like to say I believe in health, and I have to admit I have not been living healthy. I haven't exercised in a long time, and I eat way more than my fair share of junk food and fast food because it is convenient. I sit on the couch, at the table or at my desk too much. I don't drink enough water. And those things need to change. Let me be clear...Those things need to change. But, as has so often played out, what happens when I change those things, and I am still fat? Maybe not AS fat, but still fat by societal standards. And the line between "acceptable fat" and "not acceptable" fat levels is murky and gray and vast.
Society and the media tells us that is you are pushing above a size 8, you are a.) fat, b.) not beautiful and c.) ridiculous for thinking you could be beautiful. At this point, I would love to be a size 8. Which is a good medium size for me, but still on the larger end of the spectrum generally speaking, and therefore only tolerated.
I have felt awful and ashamed almost my entire life because I was not/am not/and can not be a petite waif like many of my friends. I have scrutinized myself, glared at myself, yelled at myself and despised myself based on the number that showed up on the scale that morning. I have abused myself because I am larger than what I feel should be. Quite honestly, if I spoke to a child the way I speak to myself regarding weight, I would be picked up and jailed for verbal and emotional abuse. Really...I have been just awful to myself.
But the thing is, I am lovable and beautiful and smart even as a chubby/larger woman. I have only recently become convinced of this. My cooking tastes as good whether I am medium or extra large. I bend over backwards for my friends and my family and especially my kids no matter what. I am HI-larious after a bottle of wine. I am genuinely concerned about the welfare and well-being of my loved ones. I write just as well. My house is just as clean (or not clean, depending on the day)...I have just as many kids, and I love them just the same. I stand up for just as many underdogs and I fight just as many good fights for equality, justice and freedom for all...I do all these things whether I am bigger or smaller. The "me" doesn't change. Who I am is who I am, and dropping a few pounds, or shrinking a couple of pants sizes isn't going to change the way anyone views me. And at the end of the day, and at the end of my life, I doubt my funeral will be full of people saying "RIP Sam...she was fat." I mean, maybe people will say that, but I would like to think that more people will be saying "RIP Sam...she was a great friend/wife/mother/cook/wine drinker." And THAT, my friends, is what matters. THAT is who I am.
I can be beautiful. My husband thinks I am beautiful. And, at the end of the day, that's all that matters, right? I can be deserving of love and affection and give those things right back where I am now. And, I am not into size bashing ANYONE...but there are some who think that bigger women are sexier than smaller women, just as there are some who think that smaller women are sexier than bigger women. Heck, we are ALL women...and that's damn sexy, period. And it is high time we as women stop tearing each other down, especially on physical appearance. It's dumb and it's hurtful and we are all better than that.
I *do* need to focus on my health, and get back to exercising because it's good for my body and mind and soul...not necessarily to decrease in size. I will drink my water for proper hydration, and I will eat healthy wholesome food because it will extend my life and I will feel better...not because it gets me to a goal size or weight. If that happens, fine. But it's not my sole purpose anymore, because what happens when I bust my butt and then hit a plateau and the scale doesn't budge? I quit exercising. Well, now, it's no longer about losing weight...it's about being healthy, whatever that looks like for me.
At the end of the day, dear reader, if you are fat or if you have fat, however you want to say it, it's okay. You are still a worthy human being. You are still lovable and the likelihood is that no one is going to care or even remember if your jeans were a size 2 or a size 18. Whether your teeth were crooked, or if you had split ends. They will remember you for the quality of human being that you are. And "quality of human being" doesn't have a size or weight limit.
Until next time,
XOXO
Sam
I'm fat.
And that's okay.
Let me head off the first droll remark I can see coming. "You are not fat, you have fat. Just like you have fingernails, but you are not fingernails." Whether I say "I am fat" or "I have fat", it really does mean the same thing, right? We all know the point I am getting to here. I hate semantics for this very reason, because someone wants to correct what I say instead of just letting me say it, and then dealing with what I am saying.
So, let's not lose the point of my train of thoughts here. I am fat. And THAT'S OKAY!
Body acceptance is a touchy subject for me. I, personally, have been taught since I could remember that there is only around 3 body sizes that are okay to have. "Small", which is preferable. "Medium" which is expected. "Large" is pushing the limits but is generally accepted to a certain degree. Other than that, if you don't fit into those three categories, you are a BAD PERSON, societally speaking, and obviously fair game and a fair target for ridicule, jokes and you MUST hate yourself. I have never actually been in the "small" category. Even at a "medium", I look rail thin. I have been blessed/cursed with big boobs, so even at my smallest size that I am comfortable at for me, my tops are a medium or large, depending on the cut.
Among your friends and loved ones, you are not allowed to say you are fat. "You are not fat!!" is something I have heard, time and again, from my kids, my husband, my friends, and anyone trying to be nice. In all fairness, "I'm fat" is said by me with a hint of self deprecation, and often in a mocking tone to suggest (read: confirm) that I was making fun of myself. But let's face it. I am fat. And, as of today, that is okay with me.
To ward off the second argument I can hear coming, I would like to say I believe in health, and I have to admit I have not been living healthy. I haven't exercised in a long time, and I eat way more than my fair share of junk food and fast food because it is convenient. I sit on the couch, at the table or at my desk too much. I don't drink enough water. And those things need to change. Let me be clear...Those things need to change. But, as has so often played out, what happens when I change those things, and I am still fat? Maybe not AS fat, but still fat by societal standards. And the line between "acceptable fat" and "not acceptable" fat levels is murky and gray and vast.
Society and the media tells us that is you are pushing above a size 8, you are a.) fat, b.) not beautiful and c.) ridiculous for thinking you could be beautiful. At this point, I would love to be a size 8. Which is a good medium size for me, but still on the larger end of the spectrum generally speaking, and therefore only tolerated.
I have felt awful and ashamed almost my entire life because I was not/am not/and can not be a petite waif like many of my friends. I have scrutinized myself, glared at myself, yelled at myself and despised myself based on the number that showed up on the scale that morning. I have abused myself because I am larger than what I feel should be. Quite honestly, if I spoke to a child the way I speak to myself regarding weight, I would be picked up and jailed for verbal and emotional abuse. Really...I have been just awful to myself.
But the thing is, I am lovable and beautiful and smart even as a chubby/larger woman. I have only recently become convinced of this. My cooking tastes as good whether I am medium or extra large. I bend over backwards for my friends and my family and especially my kids no matter what. I am HI-larious after a bottle of wine. I am genuinely concerned about the welfare and well-being of my loved ones. I write just as well. My house is just as clean (or not clean, depending on the day)...I have just as many kids, and I love them just the same. I stand up for just as many underdogs and I fight just as many good fights for equality, justice and freedom for all...I do all these things whether I am bigger or smaller. The "me" doesn't change. Who I am is who I am, and dropping a few pounds, or shrinking a couple of pants sizes isn't going to change the way anyone views me. And at the end of the day, and at the end of my life, I doubt my funeral will be full of people saying "RIP Sam...she was fat." I mean, maybe people will say that, but I would like to think that more people will be saying "RIP Sam...she was a great friend/wife/mother/cook/wine drinker." And THAT, my friends, is what matters. THAT is who I am.
I can be beautiful. My husband thinks I am beautiful. And, at the end of the day, that's all that matters, right? I can be deserving of love and affection and give those things right back where I am now. And, I am not into size bashing ANYONE...but there are some who think that bigger women are sexier than smaller women, just as there are some who think that smaller women are sexier than bigger women. Heck, we are ALL women...and that's damn sexy, period. And it is high time we as women stop tearing each other down, especially on physical appearance. It's dumb and it's hurtful and we are all better than that.
I *do* need to focus on my health, and get back to exercising because it's good for my body and mind and soul...not necessarily to decrease in size. I will drink my water for proper hydration, and I will eat healthy wholesome food because it will extend my life and I will feel better...not because it gets me to a goal size or weight. If that happens, fine. But it's not my sole purpose anymore, because what happens when I bust my butt and then hit a plateau and the scale doesn't budge? I quit exercising. Well, now, it's no longer about losing weight...it's about being healthy, whatever that looks like for me.
At the end of the day, dear reader, if you are fat or if you have fat, however you want to say it, it's okay. You are still a worthy human being. You are still lovable and the likelihood is that no one is going to care or even remember if your jeans were a size 2 or a size 18. Whether your teeth were crooked, or if you had split ends. They will remember you for the quality of human being that you are. And "quality of human being" doesn't have a size or weight limit.
Until next time,
XOXO
Sam
Thursday, June 5, 2014
May Birch Box!!!
Birchbox hasn't disappointed me yet! Let's see what was given to us in May!
This month, I wasn't blown away. The box wasn't bad, but...well, it wasn't my favorite. But hey, no one can knock it out of the park every time, right? Let's get to it.
Nexxus Color Assure shampoo, conditioner and primer★★
Let's rip the band-aid off and get to my least favorite part. I wanted to like this shampoo, I really did. But I didn't. The primer is something you are supposed to put on your hair before you shower, I believe to protect it from the heat of your shower. Um, okay? Did that. The shampoo - I needed more. I have a lot of hair, even as it's shorter, and the sample size was smaller than it appears to be. And the conditioner...ehhhh? Wasn't impressed. My hair didn't feel right afterward. I think I will stick with my Redken.
Gilchrist & Soames Body Lotion★★★
This body lotion was okay. I didn't feel it was any more special than any other lotion. The scent was so-so. I will use it, but I won't go out of my way to purchase it.
Pix! Shea Butter Lip Balm★★★★
Great lip balm!! Definitely going to use this one all up. Lips feel soft and silky and with that yummy shea butter smell/taste. Awesome
32 Effervescent Breath Treatment★★★
One I haven't tried yet...and I can't guarantee that I will. You are supposed to drop this in to your mouth and let it fizz up, and it is supposed to kill bad breath. I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. If I do, I will update this review later.
Whish Shave Cream★★★★
This is a thick, creamy shave cream as it comes out. I used it sparingly, in a thin, almost invisible layer, and it was still great! Smelled great, too...and while I can't quite pick out exactly why that's important, because no one but the dogs walk around smelling my legs. BUT a great smell just makes it better. Right? Loved this over my whatever-brand-i-grab-at-Walmart usual pick. Will hunt this down and buy!
And that's it!! The lip balm and shaving cream saved this box for me...wasn't overly impressed with everything else. Oh well. BirchBox June should be here in a few days, and I look forward to reviewing that one...ON TIME...
Until next time,
XOXO
Sam
May BeautyBox5!!
Okay, so I know I sort of poo-pahed BeautyBox5 last month, but they really outdid themselves this month!! Much more impressed this go round! Read more to find out why!!
Okay, I admit it. I was pretty quick to be judge of BB5 last month, and this month, they totally redeemed themselves! They are on the lower end of the boxes, and as the 5 in "BeautyBox5" suggests, the box holds 5 items. Here's the run down:
Ban Total Refresh Cooling Body Cloths ★★★★
When I first saw these, I have to say, my initial reaction was "Really?? What am I going to do with these??" I literally live in the desert, and summer was making a late entrance. Last year, we had hit 100 degrees by March, but this year, we didn't hit 100 degrees until June. So when these came in, there wasn't much need for them. But I have to tell you, when you have spent hours in a car in even 90 degree heat, on leather seats, you can start to feel a bit funky. Then you have to run in somewhere or meet someone. These babies help you freshen up on the go!! Love them. A definite purchase in the future for me!!
Harvy Prince Hello -★★★★★
I have never been much of one to experiment with scent before. I usually find something I like, occasionally two, and I stick with them. My husband got my a large bottle of Beauty by Calvin Klein for my birthday last year, and it's pretty much all I wear. Don't get me wrong, I love CK Beauty, which is why I have stuck with it for so long, but...wearing the same scent everyday can get pretty monotonous. BB5 sent this gem in May, and I have a new favorite! Girly, yet woodsy and sexy! My husband LOVES it, and I feel a little younger yet a little more sophisticated while wearing it, and would LOVE a full size bottle of it!
Cattiva Waterproof Eyeliner ★★★
Admittedly, I haven't tried this eyeliner yet. Out of the 4 subscription boxes I receive, in the last 2 months, I have gotten 4 or 5 eyeliners, and with it being so hot, I haven't bothered with eyeliner the last few days. (Eyeliner sweating into your eyeballs is not a pleasant experience.) So, my review for this one will have to be updated later.
Mask-er Aid Pre Party Prep★★★
Another little item I haven't had a chance to try yet. To be fair, it's been end of school activities heading straight into a weekend family reunion at the lake, and now we are packing up to take the kids to camp and then visit my in-laws for a day or two. Another item I will have to update at another time.
Aqualibrium Marine Cleansing Gel ★★★★
This is one that I did try. And I have to say, not bad One the plus side, my face was left feeling refreshed and hydrated...not dry like some cleansers can leave your face feeling. Got the job done without drying out my skin.
And that's it! Like I said, I was quite pleasantly surprised with BB5 this month, and can't wait to see what comes in the next few days!
Until next time,
XOXO
Sam
When I first saw these, I have to say, my initial reaction was "Really?? What am I going to do with these??" I literally live in the desert, and summer was making a late entrance. Last year, we had hit 100 degrees by March, but this year, we didn't hit 100 degrees until June. So when these came in, there wasn't much need for them. But I have to tell you, when you have spent hours in a car in even 90 degree heat, on leather seats, you can start to feel a bit funky. Then you have to run in somewhere or meet someone. These babies help you freshen up on the go!! Love them. A definite purchase in the future for me!!
I have never been much of one to experiment with scent before. I usually find something I like, occasionally two, and I stick with them. My husband got my a large bottle of Beauty by Calvin Klein for my birthday last year, and it's pretty much all I wear. Don't get me wrong, I love CK Beauty, which is why I have stuck with it for so long, but...wearing the same scent everyday can get pretty monotonous. BB5 sent this gem in May, and I have a new favorite! Girly, yet woodsy and sexy! My husband LOVES it, and I feel a little younger yet a little more sophisticated while wearing it, and would LOVE a full size bottle of it!
Admittedly, I haven't tried this eyeliner yet. Out of the 4 subscription boxes I receive, in the last 2 months, I have gotten 4 or 5 eyeliners, and with it being so hot, I haven't bothered with eyeliner the last few days. (Eyeliner sweating into your eyeballs is not a pleasant experience.) So, my review for this one will have to be updated later.
Another little item I haven't had a chance to try yet. To be fair, it's been end of school activities heading straight into a weekend family reunion at the lake, and now we are packing up to take the kids to camp and then visit my in-laws for a day or two. Another item I will have to update at another time.
This is one that I did try. And I have to say, not bad One the plus side, my face was left feeling refreshed and hydrated...not dry like some cleansers can leave your face feeling. Got the job done without drying out my skin.
And that's it! Like I said, I was quite pleasantly surprised with BB5 this month, and can't wait to see what comes in the next few days!
Until next time,
XOXO
Sam
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